Brighton's Unexpected Birthday

WARNING: this is LONG, LONG, LONG. I apologize in advance. Unless you're really curious about Brighton's birth story, just skip it!

From the start, things have been completely different with Brighton than they were with Oakley. To begin with, Oakley was planned. Brighton was a big surprise. We wanted to have another baby later this year, but we were thinking, you know, after dental school, the boards, and moving to Alaska were all over. It was quite the shock to discover we'd be adding to our family right in the middle of all these things.

Then, about the time I had finally gotten used to the idea of being pregnant again, I woke up in the middle of the night bleeding badly. We, including the doctor, were sure I had lost the baby. I couldn't get in for an ultrasound until Monday, so I spent the weekend on bed rest, just in case the baby was ok, but prepared for the worst. I was devastated. By Monday I had come to terms with the fact that I had spent the last three months sick as a dog (that part wasn't much different than with Oakley) for nothing.

I was shocked when the ultrasound showed the baby was fine! Something was wrong, but the ultrasound tech wouldn't say what. My doctor put me on some medication to help me stay pregnant and told me to be very careful, but couldn't say exactly what had caused the bleeding. Life went on. It wasn't until my 20 week ultrasound, when they told me I had placenta previa, that I finally knew the cause of all the problems.

I continued to have bleeding off and on throughout the pregnancy, which was always scary, but always stopped and things always turned out to be ok. The doctors reassured me that my condition usually fixed itself. At 28 weeks I went in for another ultrasound and was told that at 20 weeks, my previa had been complete (news to me and my doctors), but now things were significantly better, and I most likely would not need a c-section. (The whole ultrasound thing turned out to be a huge mess. For some reason, our doctors here do not have ultrasound machines in their offices. Instead, you are sent somewhere else, depending on your insurance, where an ultrasound tech does the ultrasound and then is supposed to send the report to your doctor. Clearly, there was a breakdown in communication with my ultrasound reports.)

So...I was very surprised when the bleeding continued. At 36 weeks I woke up to go to church only to find I was bleeding badly yet again. At this point, I was concerned. I shouldn't still be bleeding if things really were better. I stayed in bed and went in for an ultrasound the next day. This time, I was shocked and confused when the ultrasound tech told me I would definitely be needing a c-section. The baby was still ok. My doctor told me they would only do a c-section if I still had complete placenta previa, and it would be at 39 weeks, but if it was partial like my 28 week ultrasound had shown, I could deliver vaginally. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and planned on at least 3 weeks to get ready for baby.

Thursday of that same week, I had this uncontrollable urge to clean and get ready for the baby. I pulled out all the newborn clothes and started organizing Oakley's room to accommodate her little sister. I got up at midnight, completely unable to sleep, and realized I was having contractions. I was anxious for my doctor's appointment the next day, to find out what was going on. I thought a warm shower might help, and a few hours later I was so glad I took that shower. Around 3am, after tossing and turning for a couple hours, I started bleeding again, this time extremely badly. I woke Dan up and he gave me a blessing. It gave me a sense of calmness and strength, but made me realize things were not ok. I called the doctor and he told me to go to the hospital immediately. I grabbed my wallet and keys and jumped in the car. I didn't even have a hospital bag packed yet.

In triage, around 4:30 am, they hooked me up to an iv and we waited. The nurse told me my veins were awful, and remembering my iv experience with Oakley, I was scared. Amazingly, it slid right in the first time, like butter the nurse said, adding that she might as well have had her eyes closed because she had gone in completely blind. Eventually, the bleeding and contractions stopped, but they didn't want me to leave until they had seen my ultrasound report. I was sure they were just going to send me home and was glad I hadn't made Dan wake Oakley up to drive me over. They kept asking me questions like, "Haven't you been seeing our high-risk OB's?" or "Haven't you been on bed rest this whole time?" They were always shocked when I answered no. I slowly began to realize that my condition was probably more serious than I had known.

Around 10am, they moved me to a labor and delivery room. I'm not sure why, maybe they needed the triage bed, but I was so glad! The L&D room was a hundred times more comfortable. At 10:30 the doctor came in and finally had my ultrasound report. Turns out, I still had complete placenta previa and needed a c-section right away. They said that my placenta was behind the baby, and ultrasound techs sometimes see this and think it is out of the way, when, in fact, there was still a significant amount completely covering the cervix. Now that I was 36 weeks, the risks of the baby being premature were outweighed by the risks of another bleed. At this point, the bleeding was getting worse each time, and more frequent, and the next one could easily be the one they wouldn't be able to stop. Especially since I was having contractions. I had done enough research that week to know they were right. In this situation, delivering vaginally was impossible, without a c-section the baby would die.

Suddenly, people rushed in and started prepping me for surgery. The doctor had three other c-sections to do that day, but told me he didn't even want to wait for Dan to arrive because mine was the most urgent. I felt like my head was spinning. It was all happening so fast. To my relief, the nurse was able to convince him to do one of the other surgeries first. He told me I had about an hour. I called Dan and told him to get to the hospital ASAP! I am so grateful we have such wonderful friends! They dropped everything and let Dan bring Oakley over without any notice. We could have called at least 20 people who would have done the same. I've never met so many selfless people who are so willing to give in a single ward in my entire life.

Dan arrived and held my hand while they put in the awful catheter. They got me all ready, and the doctor came in to talk to us and answer all my questions. From this point on, the experience, although scary, really was wonderful. The doctor didn't mind taking the time to explain everything in as much detail as we wanted. Which for Dan, was a lot. He wanted to know what sutures they'd be using, exactly how they would close me up etc. With Dan there, I knew everything would be ok.

They wheeled me into the OR and told me exactly what to expect each step of the way. The anesthesiologist was amazing. The spinal block didn't bother me at all, and I also had a nurse anesthetist whose only job was to be there for me and make sure I was comfortable. He held my hand during the spinal and sat right by my head the entire time. I couldn't believe the cocktail of drugs they have available... they had something for everything. Within seconds my legs began to get really warm and heavy. It felt nice since the OR was so cold, like a warm, heavy blanket. They let Dan come in and watch everything. It was strange because I could feel all the tugging and movement, it just didn't hurt. The baby was going crazy, kicking and moving all over the place.

The doctor explained exactly what he was doing and answered all of Dan's medical questions about the procedure along the way. He knew a lot of professors at the dental school and asked Dan about them. Beforehand, I had been extremely nervous, but the entire thing went so smoothly and I felt so well taken care of. Once they realized Dan wasn't the type to pass out, the doctor let Dan see all my insides. He has now seen more of me than I have. They showed him my uterus after removing the baby and placenta and he could see all the blood vessels that criss-crossed my cervix. There was absolutely no way she ever would have made it out of there. It made me feel better to know that the c-section really was necessary.

Dan was so fascinated with the surgery, they had to remind him to come see the baby after she was out. They had the neonatal unit there just in case, and it turned out to be a good thing. They held her next to me for a minute, then whisked her away to the NICU. She was having trouble breathing, common for preemies, and she had low blood sugar, but wouldn't eat anything to bring it up. At this point, I was a little surprised because I hadn't really thought of 36 weeks as being premature. I knew it was early, but thought it was close enough that she wouldn't have any problems. Of course, when I think that she was born a month early, put that way she does sound premature. She was born at 12:44pm, at 5 pounds 12 ounces and 18 1/2 inches long. So tiny! Especially compared to Oakley, who was exactly 2 pounds heavier and two inches longer.

Dan stayed with me while they closed me up. The doctor did an amazing job. He meticulously closed each layer, then closed the skin subcutaneously with dissolvable stitches, so you couldn't even see the stitches. It was the cleanest looking incision I had ever seen. Near the end, the spinal started to wear off and I could really feel the sutures going in and out, so they gave me something to make sure I wouldn't feel any pain. And it was over!

It was definitely a different way to have a baby. I didn't have to do anything but lay there while everyone else did all the work. However, in my opinion, the recovery more than makes up for that. I cannot comprehend how all those celebs choose to have elective c-sections. Maybe their doctors just give them insane amounts of drugs. I've been on percocet, definitely not a weenie drug, and have still experienced a ton of pain. Even though it lasted 22 hours and involved a lot of work, I would say my vaginal delivery with Oakley was much easier than recovering from a c-section.

Once I was in the recovery room I could tell I was really out of it from all the drugs. Everything seemed so loud, and when I spoke I felt like I was yelling. After that, things are really hazy. I just remember wishing I could see my baby. It was strange to have her in the NICU after having a c-section because I had only seen her for a few seconds. It felt like I didn't have a baby. I was pretty much stuck in bed for the rest of the day and all night. I was so jealous every time I heard the babies crying from the rooms next to me. The upside is that I was super motivated to get up and get moving so I could go see my baby. I didn't care about the pain, I just wanted to see her.

Holding her for the first time was magical. She opened her eyes and looked up at me and I knew she knew I was her mommy. She recognized my voice, and I felt such a strong bond with her. With Oakley, bonding was much more of a process. I'm not sure if it's because Brighton and I were apart, or just because I wasn't so worried about doing everything right like I was as a first time mom, I could just relax and enjoy everything. Either way, it was much more instant this time.

All the nurses were amazing. They took such good care of Brighton and me. I spent most of my time in the NICU. In between her feedings I would slowly make my way back to my lonely, empty room and try to get an hour or two of sleep before walking back. It was painful, and I was slower than a snail, but it was so worth it to see my baby. The nurses were very friendly and always made me feel like I was welcome to spend as much time there as I wanted. We spent most of the night chatting while I fed or held Brighton and they took care of the other babies. They always let me do as much as I wanted, and never made me feel like I was bothering them or in their way.

Her breathing improved and it turned out to be the feeding that kept her there. She just wouldn't eat. Little by little she started taking some from the bottle, but not enough, and they'd have to give her the rest through her feeding tube. I started pumping and they'd also give her the colostrum through her tube. She was born on Friday, and stayed in the NICU until Tuesday. I was discharged Monday, but the hospital was very helpful. They explained that technically I could be a patient until 11:00 pm the day I was discharged, after that, as long as they didn't need my room, they would let me stay free of charge, I just wouldn't get any services. That was just fine with me! I was so grateful to be able to be just down the hall from my baby for another night and day. I had been working with her, trying to get her to take full feedings, and that night I also decided to try breastfeeding her. After all the problems I had with Oakley, I wasn't about to get my hopes up, but Brighton turned out to be a champ. (It wasn't Oakley's fault, she was born tongue tied, and her upper frenum is way too low so she physically just wasn't able to do it.) She was slightly jaundiced, but Tuesday afternoon we were able to take her home with one of those light therapy machines. It was SO good to be home!

At first, Oakley thought Brighton was a doll. Brighton really just slept anyway. Then, one time she was sitting next to her on the bed when Brighton started moving. It kind of freaked Oakley out. She sat there staring at Brighton like she was some kind of monster and started poking at her with her foot. Then, Oakley became jealous as she tried to figure out our new family dynamics and how this baby fit in. It didn't help that I couldn't pick her up or hold her, or that I had suddenly disappeared for five days. (Dan brought her to see me each day, but when you are used to mommy taking care of you every day, visiting just isn't the same.) She would steal Brighton's blankets and throw a fit any time she saw me with the baby. Slowly, she has gotten used to things and now understands that she can share mommy with the baby and mommy will still be there for her. She is turning into a wonderful big sister. In the morning, she will bring all the blankets from her crib and pile them on top of Brighton. She will also bring binkies and bottles for her. She has learned to be gentle and will pet Brighton, the same way she pets the dog :) It has really helped to have my mom here. She has been able to give Oakley lots of attention so she doesn't feel left out when I am with the baby.

Although this has been very unexpected, it has been an incredible experience. I was so terrified to have a c-section, but my doctor, hospital and nurses took something that could have just been a cold, medical procedure and helped make it a beautiful experience for me. Looking back, I am just grateful for the miracles of modern medicine that allowed my precious baby to come into this world alive. I can't imagine life without Brighton now. She has brought so much joy into our family. She is a little piece of Heaven in our home. I am in love with having a newborn again, and a little heart broken that my c-section means I can't have a hundred more. But, I am so grateful for my two wonderful girls that I don't think I could possibly be mad if they turned out to be all we got.